What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence?
Time to fix the fence!
What's big, gray and flies straight up?
What's gray, carries a bunch of flowers and cheers you up when your ill?
A get wellephant!
What's gray and goes round and round?
An elephant in a washing machine!
What's gray and highly dangerous?
An elephant with a machine gun!
What's big and gray and lives in a lake in Scotland?
The Loch Ness Elephant!
What's big and gray and has 16 wheels?
An elephant on roller skates!
Policeman: "One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle."
Zoo Keeper: "Nonsense, none of my elephants knows how to ride a bicycle!"
Why do the elephants have short tails?
Because they can't remember long stories!
How to you keep an elephant in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
What's the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper?
You can't make a paper aeroplane out of an elephant!
What's the difference between an elephant and a banana?
Have you ever tried to peel an elephant?
What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?
About 3,000 miles!
What's the difference between an elephant and a gooseberry?
A gooseberry is green!
Teacher: " To which family does the elephant belong?"
Pupil: " I don't know, nobody I know owns one!"
How do you spell elephant?
"That's not how the dictionary spells it"
"You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelt it!"
Teacher: "Name six wild animals"
Pupil: " Four elephants and two lions!"
What do elephants sing at Christmas?
Noel-ephants, Noel-ephants... Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from? Elephanta Claus!
What's the difference between an injured elephant and bad weather?
One roars with pain and the other pours with rain!
What's the difference between an elephant and a post box?
I don't know!
What's gray and wrinkly and jumps every twenty seconds?
An elephant with hiccups!
What goes up slowly and comes down quickly?
An elephant in a lift!
What's as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
An elephant's shadow!
When should you feed milk to a baby elephant?
When it's a baby elephant!
How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?
When your nose touches the ceiling!
What do you call an elephant that flies?
A jumbo jet
Why did the elephant cross the road?
Because the chicken was having a day off!
What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?
Because they couldn't hold their trunks up.