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Doctor Jokes

Doctor Jokes

Q: Why was the doctor mad?
A: Because he had no patients!

Q: What is the best time to go to the dentist?
A: 2:30 (tooth hurty)!

Patient: Docter, Docter, I keep thinking I'm a rubbish bin!
Doctor: Don't talk rubbish!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I keep forgetting things.
Doctor: What was that?
Patient: What was what?!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!
Doctor: Pull your self together!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I think I need glasses.
Waiter: You certainly do, you've just walked into a fast food joint!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I feel a bit like a rubbish bin!
Doctor: Oh! what rubbish!!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I only have 59 seconds to live!
Doctor: Wait a minute!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, my wife thinks she's a piano.
Doctor: Well, bring her in!
Patient: Are you joking, she's too heavy!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor! I think I am a worm!
Doctor: Well then squiggle onto the chair!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, my wife thinks she's a duck!
Doctor: Bring her in so i can cure her.
Patient: But she lready flew south for the winter!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a dog!
Doctor: Well come and sit on the couch and we'll talk about your problem.
Patient: But I'm not allowed on the couch....!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, my mum thinks she's invisible!
Doctor: Where is she then?!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a dog!
Doctor: how long has this been happening?
Patient: Since I was a puppy!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, it hurts all over... every time I touch something, it hurts.
Doctor: Well, I think You have a broken finger!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I'm going to die in 4 minutes!
Patient: Wait 5 minutes!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor! I swallowed a sheep.
Doctor: How do you feel?
Patient: I feel baaaaad!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!
Doctor: Pull yourself together man!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, there is a strawberry growing out of my head!
Doctor: That's easy just put some cream on it!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I think I am a computer.
Doctor: Hold on, I will just connect you to the internet!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a bell!
Doctor: Here, take these pills and if they don't work, give me a ring!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen!
Doctor: Use a pencil!